


A Morning Alone

by jaxonkreide



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Spoilers, Established Relationship, Hopeful Ending, Loki (Marvel) Feels, Loki (Marvel) Needs a Hug, M/M, Nightmares, Self-Sacrifice, Tony Stark Feels, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, almost major character death, but not really in the end, i planned to make this angstier but my soft heart won out in the end
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-22
Updated: 2019-04-22
Packaged: 2020-01-24 05:52:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,158
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18565252
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jaxonkreide/pseuds/jaxonkreide
Summary: Loki woke up alone in the morning which wasn't an unusual occurrence lately,  but he couldn't find Anthony anywhere. Jarvis has a recorded message for him which Loki really wishes he didn't have to listen to.





	A Morning Alone

**Author's Note:**

> What? Two fics from me in less than a week? Who am I and what did I do to Jax?!
> 
> Anyways, I'm seeing Avengers Endgame in less than 24 hours and somehow I'm preparing myself for it by writing pain? But not Pain Pain, because my heart couldn't handle it in the end XD Chickened out as soon as my brain gave me a better option than complete sad, because I am but only a happy end lover sdkghsdfd
> 
> ~~also really don't expect any actual consistent uploads from me;; I'm mostly only doing art, cause it's my first passion~~

"Morning, Lokes!" Anthony's voice sounded from the kitchen as Loki left the bedroom on a sunny summer morning.

"You're up early again, Anthony." Loki mumbled, trying to tame his hair with his hands alone before resorting to use magic to smooth it down in the end. He sat down on his place, as Anthony passed him steaming hot tea and a pile of pancakes.

"No, you're just late, love. You've been sleeping for longer and longer since we got together, you know?" Anthony watched him like usual from where he sat across to him, his head laid down upon his hands. 

Loki smiled at the view, but it disappeared again soon after, not satisfied with Anthony's try at changing the subject. "Did you have a nightmare again? You know that you can just wake me up and I'll be by your side and help you fall back asleep."

Anthony had been having nightmares at an increasing frequency in the past few months. Loki knew because most of the time Jarvis woke Loki up since the other was not reacting to any attempts of waking him up. 

He refused to tell Loki what those dreams were about.

But Loki could guess.

In the past, when Anthony had still told him about his nightmares, it was always his own traumatic experiences of the past or it was to see all that he loved come to death and ruin.

And from the way Anthony had been behaving around Loki himself after those dreams, they seemed to fall into the latter category.

Anthony was always soft and loving in his affection afterwards, even if a bit desperate at times. He had to ensure himself that it was just a dream and none of his friends, least of all Loki would leave him so easily. 

Now Anthony was watching with a soft, yet somehow still sad smile as Loki ate the pancakes and drank the tea his love had made for him.

"I don't think they won't be a problem much longer." Anthony spoke up as Loki had closed his eyes to savor the taste of his favorite tea. Opening his eyes, Loki sent him a quizzical look that Anthony answered without delay. "The nightmares, I mean. I kind of had a feeling after waking up this morning that they would stop, you know? And even if not, a positive attitude towards this kind of thing can work wonders on your psyche." 

Loki smiled brightly at Anthony. It had taken both of them a long time to admit that even after they were together and happy, they still needed someone from the outside. Both of them had very similar thought processes and they'd encourage the unhealthy behavior of the other too often. It was nice to see how far Anthony had come from the start, trusting what he learned in his therapy. Attempting to improve his own mental health, slowly but surely.

"That sounds like amazing news, love! And I sure hope that you're trying to tell me we'll start up our extended cuddling sessions in the morning again. You do know how much I love to have you close after a long night, even if I enjoy standing up to breakfast already being ready." Loki laughed, as he stood up to put his dirty plate into the dishwasher.

"Whatever you say sounds perfect, Lokes. And I don't think there's even a smidge of faulty logic in that statement. I really do miss our late mornings in bed too." Anthony smiled brightly at Loki, fondness radiating from the man. "Let's try to have a morning like that tomorrow, yeah?"

"I'd be happy to." Loki murmured quietly as he walked over to Anthony, planting a kiss on his love's lips.

Anthony smiled into it and his hands found Loki's hair, keeping him close. Loki would have rolled his eyes at the feeling of Anthony messing up his hair he had just done again, but he became too preoccupied as the other deepened the kiss. 

When they broke apart again, they stayed close, foreheads touching. 

"Morning, Lokes." Anthony repeated from earlier.

"Good Morning, Anthony." Loki responded with a smile. "I love you."

Anthony's eyes seemed to soften even further, his smile almost turning watery. "I love you too, Loki."

They kissed again and kept close. Loki quietly reassuring Anthony that his nightmares were not real and they'd still have a long time together. He hadn't told this Anthony yet, but he hoped the other would accept his gift of a golden apple.

Some hours later they had found their way to the couch, curled up together peacefully. 

"Don't you have any work today, my dear? I'm pretty sure Pepper had reminded you of some meeting for today just last week." Loki brought up at some point.

Anthony had shrugged and said he wanted to spend the day with Loki and Loki alone.

Loki hadn't argued with Anthony and just given him a deep kiss. He hoped his love was correct about the nightmares stopping, he longed to see Anthony as active and full of energy as he had been before.

They went back to sleep later that night to the sweetest love making and Loki fell asleep smiling, his love cradled safely in his arms, hope to wake up in the same position rooted deep inside his chest.

 

Loki woke up with a smile, stretching himself on the bed, but starting to frown once he didn't find anyone beside him, the whole bed cold, speaking of an already longer absence. 

Loki yawned and stood up, walking towards the kitchen expecting to find Anthony there. "Morning, Antho..." Loki trailed off as he realized he was alone.

Anthony had most likely gone to the lab already then. Loki started the water for his tea as he went into the bathroom, freshening himself up quickly and pulling on some clothes.

Tea in hand, Loki appeared in Anthony's lab, only to find it empty as well. 

Loki frowned. This was starting to get unusual. "Jarvis, I didn't somehow miss a call for the Avengers, did I?"

"You did not, Loki." The AI dutifully replied. Though Jarvis usual emotionless voice seemed to have taken on a slightly depressed tone and Loki stiffened, dread filling him.

"Jarvis?" Loki spun around, surveying the whole lab and making sure Anthony wouldn't just jump up from behind a corner to surprise him. "Where is Anthony?"

"I can not answer that question, because I do not know, Loki." Jarvis replied in the same sad voice as before.

"What do you mean, you do not know?" Loki demanded, he'd started pacing, inspecting everything in the lab. This had to be some prank that Anthony believed was funny, but the inventor didn't appear.

Instead, Loki registered the absence of something else.

"Sir has not told me the coordinates of his goal, Loki. He disappeared in a hurry though and he apologized profusely for keeping us in the dark about this plan. He also recorded a voice message for you to hear, if you want to know more details." Loki stared at the spot he had last seen the Space Stone, formerly the Tesseract, as Jarvis spoke.

They had kept it here on Earth while the Mind Stone had been given to Asgard for safety reasons after the battle of New York. It had been Stark who had realized Loki's compromised state back then and saw the danger of the stone for what it was. And Asgard had agreed that they should not be protecting more than one Infinity Stone.

Tony had kept the Space Stone safe and even found a way to use it, making the Avengers much more mobile as they could quickly reach any part of Earth in need.

Now Anthony had taken it and just disappeared.

"Play the voice message please, Jarvis." Loki commanded, contemplating where Anthony might have gone off to.

Loki smiled as Anthony's voice filled the room, but it was gone just as fast, Anthony's tone and his words quickly registering.

"Hey, Loki. I... How do I even start this? Jarvis, scratch that, start a new recording. Hey Lokes! You're probably wondering where I am right now, right?" Anthony's voice cracked slightly in that last sentence.

"No, I can't do it like this either. Jarvis, another retry!" Loki could hear Tony walking around in his lab, probably pacing as he contemplated what to say for a second.

Anthony heaved a big sigh. "Loki. Let me start this by saying that I am truly sorry. I really am. I know there's a lot I haven't told you in a long while and I have never been completely truthful in the end. So let me try to change that now. Please don't get mad and listen until the end."

Loki sat down heavily in Anthony's favorite chair and covered his face with his hands, sitting alone, dejectedly, missing his love.

"I guess it all started in the year of 2018 when Earth was suddenly attacked by minions of Thanos, trying to get both the Time and Mind Stone that were here on Earth at the time..." Loki blinked. That didn't add up. Thanos hadn't attacked Earth. The Mind Stone hasn't been on Earth since 2012 either.

Loki listened as Anthony told him about events that didn't happen. How he fought against Thanos. How he lost. 

Was this what had plagued Anthony in his nightmares? Some fake history that didn't occur?

Anthony stopped for a bit after he told Loki about how the precious young Spider Boy died in his arms. 

Loki swallowed, he hadn't been mentioned once in this, so how did it play into Anthony's deeper care of him lately?

"All of this happened, Loki. It isn't a lie. What is a lie is that this here was the first timeline I lived through. We- the Avengers- we tried to find a way to fix everything after I came back to Earth. We thought we'd be able to pull off time travel to fix this mess we had been in, but... something went wrong." 

Another deep breath on Anthony's side before he continued. "Something went wrong and I found myself back in New York in 2012. I was alone and had none of the equipment I planned to take with me on the travel. Hell, I didn't even have my body, but was the old me again, arc reactor and all."

Anthony chuckled and Loki could see how Anthony attempted to crack a smile only to frown again in the next second. "I tried to fix some mistakes I did in the past. Didn't get Jarvis and a whole city destroyed this time around. Didn't let a rift come between the Avengers again. Fixed the Hydra situation more gracefully  
than that dunce Rogers could have ever managed..."

"Most importantly though, Loki. The most important thing that happened to me in this new timeline was you. Coming back I knew that you had been a puppet to Thanos just like Nebula had been before she betrayed him. I knew New York wasn't truly your fault and it made me able to save you. Your mother too, indirectly, now that I think about it. She died in the original timeline when the Dark Elves had attacked."

Anthony laughed again and it turned into a dark chuckle. "I assumed I was the only one that remembered and this was my chance to fix things. To save us all from Thanos. I was wrong. I was wrong in both those assumptions. Thanos still had the Infinity Gauntlet when I traveled back in time. He had all the Stones and now still remembers it all as well."

"No..." Loki mumbled as Anthony laughed darkly again, but his love soon broke, chocked off sobs sounding instead and Loki could feel his own eyes growing wet.

"I.. you.." Anthony stopped and took a few deep breaths, controlling his breathing and willing himself to stop crying. 

"You've noticed that I've been having a lot more nightmares lately. I think it's time to tell you the truth about that. Thanos already has the Reality Stone again. Power too, as far as I'm aware. He's been there, in my dreams I mean."

Quiet. Shuffling. 

"When he had all the Stones, he apparently saw something. I'm the key to defeat him, Loki."

Loki sharply looked up, if Anthony was the key then-

"And that means he wants me dead."

A pained keen left Loki's throat.

"He promised me that if I submit to him now and die... that he will spare Earth..."

_Foolish mortal_ , Loki was screaming in his mind. Such a flimsy promise and Anthony would do what? Face Thanos? Leave with the Space Stone so it would be even easier for Thanos to get?!

"He will spare both Earth and you. You'll be able to live, Loki. Without any fear of the Mad Titan coming after you. You'll live and survive, because I don't want a world in which you died, do you understand?"

Both Anthony and Loki fell silent. Loki could hear the sounds of Anthony putting on the suit, the Space Stone fitting right into one of his gauntlets.

"I guess it's time." Anthony continued in the end. "Loki, you won't be able to understand how sorry I am. But Thanos is monitoring me and only my death will appease him. He currently has two of the Stones. We have three!"

Only that Anthony took off with the Space Stone and thus was wrong. They only had two now while Thanos would have three.

"But why have three if we could have four? I'll make sure that Space and Soul make it back to you, Loki. And when you have them, please. Please for the love of every nice thing in this Universe. Defeat that stupid purple grape for me."

Loki closed his eyes, imagining his stupid mortal in the room with him. "Idiot."

"Goodbye, Loki, my love. I know you can win. Tell everyone not to be too sad, we hated each other in the other timeline after all. Jarvis? End the recording."

Loki swallowed as the lab fell into silence again.

It seemed like hours passed before Jarvis spoke up again. "He disappeared afterwards."

Loki nodded, but didn't move any further. He just couldn't bring himself to get up.

Anthony was sacrificing himself and leaving Loki to face Thanos alone. That idiot should have known that he couldn't face him alone.

He couldn't.

He had known that there was a possibility he'd lose Anthony at some point due to his mortal constitution if he decided not to accept the apple, but this was too soon. It was like a punch into his face, showing him he had let his guard down too much around the mortal, hoping for some form of forever. When had he started having hope again? These kinds of things had a nasty habit of only becoming apparent once they were shattered and destroyed again. 

Loki sat alone in his love's lab, for how long he didn't know. He sat alone and mourned a love lost, an illusion of peace shattered, a battle he'd have to fight and would only survive for his love's sacrifice.

"Loki-" Jarvis spoke up frantically, but was immediately interrupted by a loud crash sounding through the lab.

Loki's eyes shot up and immediately fixed on where something big had crashed into the lab tables.

What happened? 

Anthony said he'd make sure Loki would get the Space and Soul Stones, but this was too big... almost like a person.

Loki carefully approached the object, until he got close enough to see it as Anthony's Iron Man suit. Space Stone still in the gauntlet and everything seemingly intact.

Sprinting over to the suit, Loki triggered the manual release as fast as he could, his breath catching in his throat when it revealed Anthony beneath.

Anthony who still had a pulse and was breathing and _merely unconscious!_

Loki picked Anthony up without trouble and carried him over to the couch he had in the lab, carefully putting him down.

Loki cradled Anthony's face and started running his hands through the other's hair as he softly called for him, begging him to wake up.

It seemed to be hours later when Anthony's eyes slowly opened.

Instead of Anthony's usually brown eyes, glowing orange one's fixed on Loki's green.

Anthony's mouth opened slightly in shock. Loki started smiling at that dumbfounded look. 

"Please tell me I'm somehow alive and this isn't just a sick version of the afterlife, Lokes!" Anthony's voice was just a quiet whisper and he tried to move, but Loki who had been kneeling above him kept him right where he was.

Loki chuckled and leaned down to press a kiss to Anthony's lips.

"You're back, you're alive and you brought the Soul Stone with you, Anthony. Now I just need to figure out how to punish you for breaking my heart." 

Anthony swallowed and his face lost all color as Loki smirked down at his idiot love.

"But the Soul Stone. You need to sacrifice someone you love. How?"

"And you did. You self-sacrificed yourself out of love and the Soul Stone obviously thought that was a most idiotic plan, just like me, and instead of letting you die brought you back to me." Loki's lips twitched into a small, yet genuine smile as he stared at those orange eyes.

"Oh," Anthony intelligently exclaimed.

Loki's eye twitched and his relief at Anthony being still alive slowly bled into fury over the almost loss. " _'Oh'_?! Is that all you have to say after sacrificing yourself and only coming back because the Soul Stone inhabited your body? Is that truly all, Anthony Edward Stark?" 

Anthony smiled sadly and cupped Loki's face with his hands. "I love you and I'd say I'm sorry, but I already did and you know what an idiot I am. I did what I thought was the best course of action to keep _you_ alive, Lokes. I don't regret that one bit."

"Idiot," Loki mumbled and leaned back down, giving Anthony a kiss that spoke of his mess of emotions.

Once they had assured each other that Anthony was truly still alive as always a while later, Anthony stood up and stretched himself. He turned back around and offered Loki a hand to pull him up as well.

"Now, I do believe we have a grape to squish!"

Loki started grinning as he took Anthony's hand. 

Oh yes, they did and Loki would enjoy every second of it.

And in the end? He would be able to hug his love close and be sure that he wouldn't just disappear like that again. He would make sure that none of Anthony's nightmares will ever see the light of the day.

But before that all of that?

"I do believe I've been promised a long morning in bed together, Anthony."


End file.
